To. Head of Dunnae BBQ Chicken Store
Good
Afternoon. Weather has been much warmer these days, though it’s still cold
enough or adorable chickens to lose all their body heat during delivery. Well,
for you, Head of Dunnae Chicken Store, I reckon coldness did not bother you
while frying chickens in front of sparkling oil :D I hope you didn’t freeze
yourself last night. What I am really concerned about is the well fare of you
oil. Inferring from last night’s bloody experience of chicken party, my friends
are pretty sure that you poor oil is mistreated. When I walked into my
classroom, half of the classmates were gone. All of them went to the hospital
for stomachache. Since the meals school provides are all strictly tested, they
are not the reason of this bloody disaster. Then, that leaves only one
explanation. YOU. It’s you that mistreated you oil. It’s your oil that failed
to cook chicken perfectly. And it’s that bloody chicken that caused this
crisis.
For
KMLA students, Chicken Day, which only comes every once a month, is serious,
meaningful, and even sacred event. We are not like common people who can
complain and evaluate the quality of chicken. For us, who always are desperate
for chicken, throwing away chicken and buying a new one is not an option. Yet,
as avid chicken lovers, we always leave changing the Chicken store as a last
resort. So, please provide us with better quality chicken. We really want to
maintain this relationship with you, please let us maintain.
The
last night event was a real disappointment. That made us to seriously consider
about the last resort. Such irresponsibility you showed should never be
tolerated. We are now considering changing our chicken store. If you want us to
keep buy chicken from Dunnae BBQ Chicken Store, you should provide something,
shouldn’t you? I demand free, fully cooked chicken for all students. We don't
want to let another drop of chicken blood flow through our vain.
More
importantly, we wait for you apologize. I am planning to ask our headmaster to
have a tour to Dunnae soon. Maybe we can have chicken for our meal, and you
might offer them for free. The life philosophy of KMLA students is BCD; Birth,
Chicken, and Death. I really want to tell how much students whom ate bloody
chickens are suffering from pain. One of my best friends, Mitchell, pooped
blood. He is suffering from diarrhea. Mike is vomiting every five minutes.
Head
of Dunnae BBQ Chicken Store, we wait for you responsible response.
Sincerely,
You-Know-Who
Post-letter Story (from a
radical)
I
vow to take revenge on the BBQ place. I just arrived from the hospital because
I ate you bloody chicken and now I have a stomachache. You cost me money and my
valuable time. I promise I will cost you a few thousand times more time. My
time is running out. But we decided to keep, so I have more time. I will burn
down you place and rescue all the chickens. They deserve better, as for they
are currently being mistreated, being uncooked. If only I was permitted to
write in Korean, I could have been more violent. 암튼 뒤통수 조심해라.
Post-letter Story (from a…)
You know what? I’m a vampire and I love
fresh meat. Thank you so much for providing me with such rarely cooked meat!
You made me know myself better, to find my true identity as a vampire. You are
the root of my life. I sometimes imagine you and I getting married. What a
wonderful couple! I would do anything to make you love me.
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